I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
