So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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