Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
