Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
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