this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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