wakey wakey hands off snakey
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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