i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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