go do what you do best...puke behind churches
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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