apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
