No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
