There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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