What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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