Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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