our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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