If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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