As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I just want to make out with him forever
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
