I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
