Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
We just shotgunned beers for America
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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