i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Randomize
