It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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