my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
