I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
