Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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