If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
