Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
