just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
