this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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