porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
