im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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