we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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