white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
