Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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