so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
