even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
