the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
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