yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
