She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
