Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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