He asked to "fluff my boner.."
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
