I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
