the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
