Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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