My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Randomize
