Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
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