bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize
