the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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