I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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