just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Randomize
