So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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