i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
But theres a keg here and me gusta
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
