If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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