no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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